


Monkey Business

by who_la_hoop



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Community: snarry_holidays, M/M, warning: this fic contains a terrible joke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-12-03
Updated: 2008-12-03
Packaged: 2017-10-05 12:16:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/who_la_hoop/pseuds/who_la_hoop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Trapped in a sort-of coma with only Harry Potter's visits for dubious comfort, Severus Snape learns many things – including the beneficial power of irritation upon the healing process, and the positive things that can come from failing at Occlumency. (The less said about the monkeys, the better).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Monkey Business

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jin_fenghuang](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=jin_fenghuang).



> Written for Snarry_Holidays, to the prompt of 'chair!sex'. Thanks to the girls for giving this the once-over!

"Yesterday I met a baboon," Harry said. He said it thoughtfully, his hands crossed in his lap, his eyes raised towards the ceiling.

_Did you now_, Severus thought. _Or did you simply look in the mirror and become confused?_

Ron snickered. Severus thought that, in all his life, he'd never found anything quite as wearing on the nerves as the snicker of Ronald Weasley.

"His name was Terence," Harry continued. "He carried a banjo, and we danced the fandango."

"Oh honestly, Harry," Hermione said, raising her head from the book she was reading. "You're supposed to be entertaining the professor, on the off-chance he can actually hear us, not babbling about baboons."

Harry shot Severus a nervous look. "You don't think he can actually hear us, can you? He hasn't shown any sign of it."

_I'm in a coma, you utter moron. How exactly am I supposed to indicate my displeasure at your flippant remarks, pray tell?_

"He's in a coma, Harry," Hermione said. "Don't be silly. Why don't you read out the latest issue of that Potions journal you bought?"

_Merlin, no,_ Severus thought, mentally screaming for mercy. He could vividly remember the last time Potter had attempted such a thing. He still woke up – or rather, his consciousness woke up – in a cold sweat every now and then, remembering the hideous way Potter had mangled the pronunciation of even the most basic of potions ingredients and processes.

Harry wrinkled his nose. "But it's so boring, and I don't get half of what I'm reading."

_If you get even half I'd be ridiculously surprised._

"You should think more about the Professor's needs, and less about your own comfort," Hermione said severely.

_And you, young lady, need to grow a sense of humour._

Ron shivered. "I bet he can hear us," he said, staring hard at Severus. "He's got that awful disapproving look on his face, like he's about to take points."

Harry gave Severus a speculative look. "He's always pulling that face though," he said. "It's not like he ever smiles."

_It's not like you ever gave me a reason to smile, you awful child._

"Oh! I know a joke about a monkey," Ron said. "I bet it'd make even Snape laugh."

"Snape laugh? You've got to be joking," Harry said, rather gloomily.

Ron grinned. "I am! Or at least, soon I will be."

"Just say it and let's get it over with," Hermione said, turning over a page of her book with a loud rustling noise that Severus expected indicated extreme annoyance.

"Right. What do you call an exploding monkey?"

"Er, I dunno," Harry said. "What _do_ you call an exploding monkey?"

"A baboom!" Ron laughed loudly and smacked his thigh. "Geddit? A baBOOM."

"Hilarious," Hermione said, rather coldly. "Absolutely hilarious. Comedy genius."

Harry laughed, glancing over at Severus once more. "I really hope he can't hear us, or we'll be so down on points that Gryffindor will never win the cup again."

A nurse poked her head around the door. "Visiting time is over, I'm afraid. It's time for Mr Snape to get some rest."

_Some rest? What are you, some kind of moron? It's not exactly taxing, lying here like a vegetable for hours on end._

"Yeah, okay," Harry said, standing up. "See you in a few days, Snape."

The worst thing about it, Severus thought, as he stared into the middle distance, was not the indignity of being seen like this. It wasn't the tedium of lying immobile, trapped in a body that refused to work. The worst thing – the absolute worst thing about the whole awful, boring business – was that he was finding himself actually _looking forward_ to Harry's visits. And if that wasn't a sign that his grip on his own sanity had loosened, then he didn't know what was.

*****

 

"I wish you'd hurry up and get better," Harry said as soon as he entered Severus' room.

Severus had found that, if he tried so hard his whole insides hurt, he could move his eyes, so he did so, looking towards the infuriating Gryffindor. Harry didn't notice though, unwinding the scarf from his neck and taking off what looked like a hundred layers of coats and jumpers. _Oh, yes, because I do so enjoy lying about like this, Harry, with only your scintillating visits to look forward to._

"I mean it's been, what, _months_ now, and you're still just lying there."

_Let me repeat, you idiot, that I continue to lounge about in this bed because I do enjoy it so—_

Harry stared at him. "You can hear what I'm saying – I know you can. Why don't you just pull yourself together and stop moping about?"

_Moping about? Moping about?!_

"Your name's been completely cleared," Harry said, evidently warming to his topic. "You could easily come back to Hogwarts as headmaster – it's not like McGonagall exactly wants to keep on doing it." He glared at Severus. "So the way I see it, you're just lying here out of spite. You want to make me worry about you, so you're putting it on."

Severus attempted to rise from his bed and strangle the boy – but the thing he'd discovered about being in a paralysed body, was that it was paralysed. He managed to make his eyes flicker – but that only served to irritate Harry further, it seemed.

"I don't know why I'm bothering," Harry said, suddenly pulling all the layers he'd taken off back on. "Even if you can hear me, I bet you don't exactly enjoy my visits. I'm going back to school." He wound the scarf back around his neck. "Repeating my final year is hard enough without constantly worrying if you're ever going to get better. Just – make your mind up, will you?"

The door closed with a loud bang. Severus lay there – there wasn't much else he could do, after all. Inside though, he seethed. He seethed and seethed and – and hoped, very much, that Harry would come back again.

 

*****

 

"I'm sorry," Harry said.

Severus sniffed – mentally. _I might forgive you. But only if you refrain from making any jokes. Or reading out any academic articles._

"I shouldn't have stayed away for so long."

_I can amuse myself completely well without your moronic conversation, Harry._

"I bet you were really bored." Harry shrugged off his coat and scarf. "I guess it's not your fault that you're still in a coma, or whatever it is. Anyway, I had a thought."

_Finally! A miracle!_

Harry got out his wand. "I know they've tried Legilimency on you, but I thought I might have a go, see if it works." He shrugged. "I wouldn't be surprised if you were using Occlumency before." He raised his face to Severus' own. "But don't you fucking dare use it on me, okay?"

Severus felt a wave of alarm wash over him. How did the brat know that he'd done that? He wasn't having anyone poke about in his mind. It wouldn't help fix his body, so he saw no reason why he should allow those interfering medical staff access to his personal thoughts.

"_Legilimens_" Harry said, waving his wand in Severus' direction with a determined look on his face.

_Fuck off, Potter,_ Severus thought with some intensity.

"What?" Harry said. "No!" Then, after he'd thought about that for a while. "You're alive in there?"

_Obviously, Potter,_ Severus thought. It was hard work shielding his personal thoughts from the child. He had power but no subtlety of skill – his Legilimency was like a sledgehammer in Severus' mind. He'd have a headache very quickly at this rate. _And if you ever tell me jokes about monkeys again, it will go very badly for you._

"Oh Merlin," Harry said, evidently dismayed.

Severus wanted to push his way into Harry's thoughts – more for the perverse pleasure of it, than with any goal in mind – but it was taking him all his strength to keep up the mental conversation. Legilimency was better suited to stealing, or sharing, memories, rather than real-time thought.

"Are – are you okay?" Harry asked.

_What do you think?_ Severus thought, as sharply as he could.

"Oh! I'm sorry!" Harry said – and as he said it, Severus felt a rush of feeling overwhelm his mental barriers, a bizarre sensation of sympathy and warmth flooding his brain. Before he could regain his self-control Harry dropped his wand and the sensation ended.

"Um, oh God, I'm sorry," Harry said. "I didn't mean to see that. Really, I didn't, and I won't tell anyone, I swear."

_What the fuck are you talking about?_ Severus thought.

"Uh, I've got to go now," Harry said. "I'm really sorry."

He left so quickly that he was practically a blur.

Severus lay there, his mind working. When Harry's emotions had overwhelmed him, some of his memories – his thoughts – must have slipped out. What exactly had Harry seen to upset him so much? Severus didn't like it. He didn't like it one bit.

That's why – the next time the mediwitch used Legilimency on him – he let her in, and gave her a piece of his mind. A sharp, unpleasant one, which suggested a life of eternal torment if he wasn't fixed soon. He hoped it would do the job.

 

*****

 

"Er, so the mediwitch said you can blink now," Harry said. He sat down on the chair rather gingerly, not taking off his coat. "Was it one blink for yes, or two?" He looked at Severus.

Severus failed to blink. Was this boy really such an idiot?

"Oh, I guess you can't answer that, can you. Er, one blink for yes then," Harry said, running a hand through his hair. It was as messy as always. "So, I wanted to know," Harry said. He stopped. "Er, do you. I mean, did you."

Severus wished very much that he could roll his eyes without it hurting.

Harry looked like he was trying to pull himself together. "Did you show me that thought on purpose, last time I was here?"

Severus blinked twice. He had no idea what thought it was, after all. This reply didn't seem to help Potter's jittery state of mind, though. His cheeks were red, and he looked down at the floor.

"Er. You do actually know what I'm talking about, don't you?"

Severus blinked twice. He wondered if it was possible for eyelids to fall off. His ached. Of course his brain also ached, from talking with Harry, but right now it was his eyelids that pained him the most.

"Oh," Harry said. "Well, that's good, I suppose. You'd be really embarrassed if you knew—er, I mean."

Severus closed his eyes and prayed for a speedy death.

"Does that mean you want to know?" Harry asked. He sounded very reluctant.

Severus opened his eyes.

"Er, does that count?"

Severus realised, a little too late, the problems inherent in blinking as a form of communication. Namely, his eyes felt dry and now he _could_ blink, he found himself unable to stop doing so.

"Oh, God," Harry said. He shut his eyes.

_No, wait!_ Severus thought. _I don't want to know. I really don't want to know. If you tell me, I will do all manner of terrible things to you once I am better. In fact, I may well do them anyway, but don't you dare—_

"You were thinking about me, er, you know," Harry said.

Severus held his breath. There was a chance that Harry would speak so incomprehensibly that he would finish the conversation, such as it was, none the wiser.

"Me – er – helping you out." Harry took a deep breath. "In a personal way. You know. Intimately. Don't make me say it."

_I was_ what?

"I hope you don't actually want me to, you know, do it," Harry said. He sounded terrified. Severus didn't dare open his eyes in case Harry took that as a yes. "Because that would be really weird. I'm sure that thought was just a – a hallucination, brought on by stress. I asked Hermione and—"

_You asked Hermione. You asked Hermione?!_

"—and come to think of it, I shouldn't have done that, should I? But she said that she thought it was only natural, given how long you'd been paralysed."

Severus no longer wanted to die. He had to live – and regain control of his body – so that he could Obliviate this Potter, and that Granger as well. This was not only unbelievable, but unbearable as well. Was there no end to this torment?

"Er, I've got to go now," Harry said. "Sorry. But I'll be back in a few days. I can spend longer here soon, because it's nearly the Christmas hols."

Harry left and Severus nearly wept from rage and frustration.

 

*****

 

After Harry had been talking, rather aimlessly, for half an hour, Severus suddenly decided he had had enough.

"Do be quiet, Potter," he said. He was surprised to find that the words came out intelligible. His throat felt sore and his voice rusty, but he was pleased.

"How – how long have you been able to talk?" Harry said, staring at him with a look of terror in his eyes.

"I do not know," Severus said. "This is my first attempt."

Harry was silent. He set his lips in a cross, tight line – and crossed his arms, folding them tight against his chest.

After some long minutes, Severus cleared his throat.

"What?" Harry said, evidently annoyed. "You told me to be quiet! And I bet you're not really paralysed at all, are you? You really are just lazy – a big, annoying lump—"

"Potter, enough. You have my assurances that, if I were able to move, I would do so. You cannot honestly believe that I am enjoying my time here, however small your mental capabilities."

"Stop insulting me!" Harry yelled. He shot up. "I'm glad you're alive, I really am, but there's no need for you to be such an arse about it!"

Severus cleared his throat. It hurt. "Could I trouble you for some water, Potter," he managed.

"Oh, of course," Harry said, his face relaxing. He raised a cup to Severus' lips.

Severus drank quickly, but some dribbled down his chin and he had to suffer the indignity of Harry Potter wiping his face. He didn't even use a cloth – just smoothed the drops away with a fingertip.

"Er, sorry," Harry said, his face suddenly flaming.

Without meaning to, Severus recalled what Harry had said last time – about the thought that he had unwittingly shown him. He'd been thinking about it far too much for a sane man. So much so that he had come to the conclusion that he was not a sane man, after all. He'd even, after much deliberation, come to the disturbing conclusion that the thought was not so horrifying after all – was, indeed, rather an attractive one.

He'd even realised that, if he had use of his right – or even his left – hand, he would have, well, _used_ it, whilst contemplating the problem. Which, of course, only made it worse.

Severus grit his teeth. It was typical of a Potter, that's what it was. He could go for months without even wanting to partake in the act of self-pleasure – so why now, when he couldn't act upon the urge, did Harry put it into his mind?

"Um, are you okay?" Harry asked. "You've gone a funny colour."

Severus realised that Harry was peering down at him, his body far too close for comfort. He could feel Harry's breath upon his face.

"_Legilimens_," Harry said, his forehead one big frown.

Severus tried to keep him out, but he was too surprised to raise his mental shields right away, and by the time he'd pulled himself together it was too late.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he yelled. He tried to struggle up, to push Harry's face away from his own, but he couldn't move.

Harry's face was brick red. "I thought you were sick! Having some kind of breakdown! You wouldn't speak!"

Severus closed his eyes. "Get out."

"No," Harry said. He laughed, very faintly. "I seem to be irritating you so much that you're better every time I see you."

"I said, get out."

"And I said no."

Severus opened his eyes to glare at Harry. Harry glared back.

"Er, if it would help, I could, you know."

"You could?" Severus echoed, confused.

"Yeah," Harry mumbled, looking down at his hands. "You want me to, don't you?"

"No," Severus said, realising with abject horror what Harry was referring to. "Absolutely not."

"That's not what I saw, in your mind," Harry said. He sounded determined. He sounded like a Gryffindor. He sounded like _trouble_.

"Potter – Harry – whatever you may have seen, and however you interpreted it, rest assured that I absolutely do _not_ desire… that."

"You do," Harry insisted. "And I'm going to do it."

Severus' eyes widened in shock and terror.

"Oh, not now," Harry said. "I'll come back during the night shift. Don't worry, I've still got my Invisibility Cloak. No-one will find out."

"Don't you dare, Potter," Severus snapped. "I order you to—"

"So I'll see you later, shall I?" Harry said. He stood up and shrugged on his coat.

"No!" Severus said. "No, no, NO."

Harry held his head up high. "Yes," he said. "You want it, and I'm going to do it. You can't persuade me otherwise."

He left the room – and Severus spent the following hours trying desperately to regain the use of his arms, with no effect.

 

*****

 

The muttering of spells woke Severus up. For a moment he couldn't see anything, but then a faint light illuminated the tousled-head of Harry Potter.

"Potter!" he hissed.

"Shhh," Harry said. "Just a minute – I've got to finish up the privacy spells." He muttered a few more words, waving his wand about. "Okay, done."

"Potter, why are you here?" Severus said.

Harry refused to meet his eye. His fingers were working together, and he was chewing on his lip. "To, you know," he muttered.

Severus took a deep breath. Perhaps embarrassment was the way to get out of this ridiculous situation. "Potter, are you seriously here to give me sexual pleasure?" he said. He tried to say it in a mocking, sarcastic manner – but it came out a bit more choked and incredulous than he intended.

Harry jumped. It was pretty dark in the room, but Severus thought his cheeks changed colour. He nodded. "Er, yes?" he said.

"Are you insane?"

"It was your idea," Harry said, rather heatedly.

"Leaving that aside for a moment," Severus said, really not wanting to get into that, "given that my entire body is paralysed, how do you expect to actually achieve your result?"

Harry frowned. Then he leaned over and jabbed Severus, hard in the ribs.

"Ow!" Severus said. Then he wished he'd managed to hold his tongue.

"See, you can feel things okay. I'll have a go, anyway. I've decided."

"You really don't need to be such a Gryff—"

Severus broke off as Harry moved closer, dragging a chair up to the side of the bed and sliding a tentative hand under the covers.

"See, you can't even bear to touch me," Severus said, clutching at straws, when the hand failed to come closer.

"Can too," Harry said, frowning, and pushing his hand further under the covers. "You're not _that_ bad."

Severus jerked as Harry's hand came up hard against his side, clawing at his nightclothes. The hand that worked its way under his top was cold.

"Merlin, Potter, you're like a block of ice."

"Oh, so you can feel temperature changes?" Harry said. "That's good." He shrugged. "It'll soon warm up."

Severus closed his eyes as Harry's hand slipped over his belly. This must be a dream, he thought. This could not be happening – there was _no way_ that this was happening.

"Er, is this okay?" Harry said, his fingers sliding under the waistband of Severus' trousers, just a fraction.

Severus intended to say a firm _no_, or perhaps a _stop this nonsense, right now_, but what came out was an embarrassing, ridiculous moan. Harry evidently interpreted this as a yes, because he was peeling back the covers – exposing him to view – and tugging down his bottoms with both hands.

This was _horrendous_. And it was horrendous how hard he was. He could barely breathe, or think, he was so turned on.

"Er," Harry said.

Severus opened his mouth to say something sharp about Harry's bedroom conversation, when Harry wrapped a hand around his cock. His brain froze – or rather melted, into a puddle of goo. This was not the first time that another person had touched him, but it was the first time in an embarrassingly long while. He'd forgotten (how could he have forgotten?) how fantastic the feel of another's hands against his own skin could feel. Harry's grip was tight, but not uncomfortably so, and his movements smooth and slow. He swiped a thumb across the head of Severus' cock, swirling it around the moisture at the tip.

Severus tried to buck but his muscles wouldn't respond. He was trapped within his own body – entirely at the mercy of an insane Gryffindor, and in danger of coming far too fast for his own pride.

"Slow down," he managed. Of course, as soon as he said it, he wanted to take it back. Why would Harry want to drag this out? He should just come and get the whole thing over with.

"Oh, okay," Harry said, sounding a little startled. He released his grip on Severus' cock, and Severus bit back a curse. When he'd said 'slow down', he hadn't meant 'stop'. The only thing worse than his current predicament, he thought, would be Harry stopping altogether and leaving him in this frustrated state.

Then Severus changed his mind. The only thing worse could be _Harry taking his time_. A finger slid over one of Severus' balls, reaching back between his legs.

"What are you doing, Potter?" Severus said.

A finger stroked against his arsehole. If Severus had been able to move, he would have leaped into the air in shock. It felt… nice. No, it felt fucking _amazing_. Severus' heart was beating so fast and loud that it was inconceivable that Harry couldn't hear it.

"Shall I stop?" Harry asked, very quietly.

"Uhn," Severus said. Now, if he could move his body, he would have pressed against that finger. It was still moving, but not with the pressure that Severus would have liked. Teasing, tantalising – and completely unfulfilling.

"Shall I stop?" Harry said again, showing no signs of stopping.

"No," Severus forced himself to say. "Imbecile."

Harry laughed, very faintly. He brought his other hand into play, gently working over Severus' throbbing erection.

"Fuck," Severus said. He shut his eyes tight. The feeling was completely overwhelming. Harry's finger against his entrance, Harry's hand around his cock. A tense, warm feeling wound its way through his insides, swirling and tightening in his groin. He could hear himself panting. Harry's hand gripped his cock tighter, moving with increasing speed.

Severus came hard, releasing his seed in three throbbing spurts that made him gasp, his eyes shooting open, mouth ajar. Harry was _looking at him_. Severus' insides clenched and he felt like he was coming all over again, looking full into Harry's face.

"God," Harry said. He flushed, grabbing his wand and muttering a cleaning spell. He slid Severus' pyjama bottoms back up, wrapping the covers back around him.

For a moment there was silence.

"Er," Harry said.

Severus closed his eyes. "Eloquent as ever, Potter."

"Er, was that okay?"

Severus snorted. "Do you really need to ask such a question? Was it not obvious?"

"Oh," Harry said. "Er, I meant are you okay?"

"I am tired, Potter," Severus said. "Both in a physical sense, and in a mental sense. It is wearing to be so helpless – wearing in the extreme."

"Oh," Harry said. "Sorry."

"It is hardly your fault, Potter," Severus snapped. "Grow a little backbone, won't you?"

"Sorry," Harry said again. "I'd better go," he mumbled, shooting upright.

He dashed to the door then, just as quickly, dashed back, planting a kiss squarely on Severus' cheek. "See you tomorrow," he said, then muttered a quick spell to undo the wards and left.

Severus stayed awake for far too long, staring at the door and wondering what the hell had just happened.

 

*****

 

Severus wasn't sure what he expected from Harry, the next time he saw him. He didn't expect what he got though: Hermione Granger.

"Miss Granger," he said, rather stiffly.

"Professor Snape," Hermione said. She smiled warmly. "Harry will be along shortly. He's just picking up a book for me. We may have found a way to heal you."

"Indeed," Severus said. "You believe you can do what countless healers have failed to achieve, so far?"

Hermione frowned. "Don't be such a pessimist, Professor. Harry's trying his best here. You should be appreciative."

Severus tried not to go red. He doubted that he managed it. The little shit surely hadn't told her about last night, had he? It was bad enough that Harry had told Hermione about Severus' thoughts in the first place.

Harry dashed in, interrupting Severus' inner tirade. "Got it!" he announced, waving a very dusty looking book about.

Hermione pursed her lips. "Give it here before it falls apart," she said. "Honestly, Harry," she continued, cradling the maltreated book in her arms once Harry had handed it over, "you should take more care of precious things like this."

"Sorry," Harry said, not looking sorry at all. "It's just a book," he muttered, tugging off his gloves and sitting down on the chair next to Severus' bed. He was studiously not looking in Severus' direction.

"Good morning, Potter," Severus said, and smirked to see a dull red colour flood through Harry's cheeks. He'd been prepared to feel spectacularly embarrassed, but Harry's evident discomfort made him feel surprisingly at ease.

"Morning," Harry said, nodding his head. He shot a quick look at Severus. Severus found his heart beating faster than was entirely pleasant. Harry didn't look pained or revolted, as Severus had half suspected – he just looked nervous. Severus wasn't sure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing. It was certainly a bad thing for his _own_ nerves.

"Got it!" Hermione said. She said it very loudly.

Severus closed his eyes for a moment. The sound had made him jump right out of his skin – albeit in a very still way. "Miss Granger, must you?"

"Yes, I must," Hermione said. She pulled out her wand and pulled a very determined face.

"Wait," Severus said, feeling alarmed. "What are you—"

Hermione uttered a spell, waving her wand in a complicated movement. "It's an anti-venom, in a way," she said. "Completely dark magic of course, and entirely illegal." She frowned. "Did it work?"

"No," Severus said, attempting to move and finding no change. "Not at—"

That was when the pain hit.

 

*****

 

"Hermione says sorry," Harry said. He waved to the small table by the bedside. "She sent some flowers."

Severus snorted. "Could she not have come and delivered the apology in person?"

Harry laughed. "She's scared you'll kill her."

"Just because I now have use of my limbs does not mean I wish to actually _use_ them," Severus said, feeling very weary.

In a way, the spell that Hermione had cast had worked. The effect of Nagini's venom on his body had been altered – changed from paralysis to a simple excruciating pain. Not that there was anything simple about pain, that was, but it was easier to suppress with potions and drugs. He'd been in a haze of sleep for what felt like weeks now, although Harry assured him it had only been a matter of days.

"She is sorry," Harry said. Severus closed his eyes. Harry's voice was low and soothing. He didn't need to look at him, after all, to hear what he was saying. "And so am I," Harry added.

Severus felt a soft touch on his hand. He held very still, knowing that if he moved then the pain would worsen. He was surprised that the sensation of Harry's hand on his own didn't hurt as well – but it felt nice, in fact. Very comforting. He tried to breathe deeply, and not feel ridiculous that, to all intents and purposes, he was holding hands with a Potter.

"Still," Severus said, trying not to sound begrudging, "I suppose I am in a better position than before, so I am grateful for her efforts."

Harry let out a soft breath. "I'm glad. I thought you might be mad at us."

Severus tried not to grind his teeth. He opened his eyes to look at Harry. "Did you expect this outcome?"

Harry shook his head.

"Then stop whinging, Potter. What's done is done."

"Yeah," Harry said.

To Severus' surprise, he felt Harry's hand creep back around his own.

"This okay?" Harry said, after some minutes.

"Yes," Severus said shortly, hoping Harry wouldn't push the issue. He didn't and Severus found himself feeling more relaxed than he had for weeks. He soon fell fast asleep.

 

*****

 

"Why are _you_ here, Potter?" Severus asked. He didn't intend it to sound quite so unpleasant, but it did.

Harry frowned. "They're only letting you out because I asked them to, you know. So stop complaining. Unless, that is, you want to stay here rather than come back to Hogwarts?"

Severus flinched. He hadn't known that. He wasn't sure he wanted to know that. Still, it was too late now. "My apologies, Potter."

Harry's eyebrows almost hit his hairline they rose so high. Then he smiled, his face relaxing. "Here, put your hand on this."

Severus stared at the object.

"It's a portkey," Harry said, holding it out. "Don't worry, it's charmed to take your chair as well. Just make sure you've got one hand tight on the arm, and the other on the key."

"I wasn't worrying," Severus said through gritted teeth, reaching out. His fingers hit Harry's, their fingers wrapping tight together around the tiny key. He gripped the arm of the hated wheelchair with his other hand and the portkey went off, dragging them just outside the Hogwarts gates.

A crowd was waiting for them. Severus frowned, trying not to explode with anger.

"Come on, let us through," Harry said. He sounded tetchy, and he was pushing Severus' chair forward at an uncomfortable pace. Severus screwed his eyes tight shut as a wave of pain hit, and the movement that followed suggested that he'd been lifted into some kind of carriage.

Someone forced his lips open and a smooth liquid hit his throat. There was a feeling of relief, and he was able to relax a little.

"Okay?" Harry asked.

When Severus opened his eyes, blinking away the water in them, Harry was gazing at him with some concern. "I will be glad to be back in my own rooms, I confess," Severus said. "Without all this fuss."

"You do know that the mediwitch will be here in a few hours, don't you?" Harry said.

Severus nodded, pulling a face. "I suppose there is no way to prevent it?"

"Not unless you want me washing you and putting you to bed," Harry said.

Severus glared at him. "I am perfectly capable of doing that on my own," he snapped. He thought he probably could, if he tried. Possibly. He was still weak, but getting better each day. Soon, he thought with some irritation, he might even be able to cast aside the chair and stand on his own two feet.

"Oh, yeah?" Harry said.

Severus decided he wouldn't even favour that with an answer. It was too, too humiliating. Then he changed his mind. When it came to the Boy Who Lived there was really no telling what he'd do. "Yes, Potter. Nevertheless, I shall put up with this nurse, if it will keep you out of my personal life."

Harry nodded. "Good." Then he smiled. "Won't keep me out of your life though."

Severus held his tongue, biting back the rude response that threatened to spill out. He had no idea why the idea of further interaction with Harry wasn't as repellent as it surely should have been.

 

*****

 

"I'm not doing so well in Potions," Harry sighed. He curled his legs up under him, his hands wrapped tight around the steaming mug of tea in his hands.

Severus still wasn't entirely sure how this had happened. Harry Potter – there on his sofa – talking to him as if he, Severus, cared about the young man's personal problems. More shockingly, he found that he _did_ actually care about Harry's problems – and more so, each time Harry turned up in his quarters.

"Given that you have no talent for Potions and you never listen in class nor do your homework, it is hardly surprising," Severus sniffed. He shifted in his chair, searching for a more comfortable position. Minerva had transfigured it so that it resembled more of an armchair than a wheelchair, but the thing still drove him mad. His recovery was going slower than he'd hoped, and walking without pain was still a long way in the future, he suspected.

"Shut up, Snape," Harry said, taking a sip of tea. "That's hardly helping."

"That's _Headmaster_," Severus said, not nearly as strictly as he should have.

"Mmm," Harry said. He looked up and smiled at Severus. "Headmaster. Can I pour you some more tea?"

Severus shook his head, trying to stop himself from smiling back. This situation was getting bizarre. It was almost like he and Harry were friends – and a more unlikely thing, he'd never heard. Besides, it was important that he maintained some form of boundary between Harry and himself – if only for the sake of his own sanity. The thing that had happened at St Mungos – the personal, embarrassing, gloriously arousing thing – still preyed on his mind far too much for comfort. He remembered it at night – he remembered it in the day. And most of all, he remembered it when Harry sat in front of him.

"Are you okay?" Harry asked.

Severus started. "Perfectly fine, Potter."

"No, you're not."

"I beg to differ," Severus said, rather tetchily. Who did Harry think he was, saying things like that?

"Hmm," Harry said. He took another sip of tea. "I hear you're not doing your exercises."

"Are you my mother, Potter?" Severus said, overheating.

Harry uncurled his legs from under him, standing up and dropping to the floor in front of Severus' feet. He reached up with one hand, resting his palm on Severus' thigh. "No," he said. "I'm not."

Severus held his breath – and held his body quite still. Harry was warm and solid against him and Severus was remembering things he really didn't want to with Harry so close and…

_Merlin._ Harry was _stroking_ his _leg_.

Severus felt all his blood sink to his groin. He wanted to shift, to loosen his robes around himself, but had no idea how to do that without drawing even more attention to his growing problem.

Harry took another sip of tea, from the mug he was still holding in his other hand. Then he looked up. His eye-level was…

"Oh," Harry said. He slopped tea on himself and – blessed relief – took his hand away from Severus' leg, reaching for his wand to clean himself up.

Severus straightened his robe, trying not to feel like an idiot. He was a grown man, after all. He was perfectly capable of controlling himself in front of a teenager – especially one as wrong and ridiculous as Harry Potter.

Harry stood up. Severus expected him to go and sit back down on the sofa – that, or run away as fast as his legs could carry him – but he didn't. He just stood there, gnawing on his lip.

"You—" Harry started, then stopped.

"Spit it out, Potter," Severus said. He started to count to ten in his head.

"You – you want a hand with that?"

Severus forgot what number he'd got to. He forgot how to breathe. He looked at Harry. Harry was standing rather awkwardly, shifting his weight from foot to foot, but he looked perfectly serious.

"I hardly think that would be appropriate," Severus said, his mouth dry. He swallowed hard.

Harry smiled, very faintly. "But do you want me to? I don't mind. I – I'd like to."

"Why?" Severus said, incredulously. He wished he hadn't as soon as he'd said it. He didn't want – what Harry was offering. He just wanted Harry to go away. Really, honestly, he did. He wanted Harry to go away and—

Harry shrugged. "I kind of like you," he said, his face twisting in embarrassment. Then he smiled a bit wider. "Though fuck knows why."

"Oh, how charming," Severus said dryly. "Really, Potter, you sweep me away with the romance of your soul."

"Shut up, Snape," Harry said, taking a step closer. "Here – or in, in, your room?"

"You can't even say the word 'bed', can you?" Severus said, hoping that mockery would get rid of this tempting, infernal being in front of him.

"Shut _up_," Harry said.

Severus found himself with a lap full of Potter – and a face full as well.

For a moment he sat there, entirely frozen. Harry was pressing little kisses to his mouth and – while his lower regions told him that they approved of this – his mind was screaming that this was the worst thing he could do, _ever_.

"No?" Harry said, drawing back. His face was red and embarrassed.

"Shut up," Severus said, his body reacting on its own, tugging Harry back into his arms.

Harry kissed like a teenager – which was because he was one, Severus supposed. He was warm and responsive, but he showed little sign of actually knowing what he was doing – his lips all over the place and his mouth wet and overly willing. He couldn't say it was unpleasant though. Harry's breath was sweet, and the fingers stroking through Severus' hair were doing all sorts of nice things to his insides.

Then Harry shifted, pressing himself down against Severus' crotch. Severus' breath caught in his throat and Harry smiled against his mouth. Severus was going to say something sarcastic when Harry moved again. There was something abnormally exciting about the feel of Harry's cock, digging hard against his stomach, Severus thought. His own cock stiffened further in response, and Harry ground his arse over it.

"Fuck," Severus bit out. He wished he were wearing only his wizarding robes, but his cock was trapped in his trouser leg, hard and almost painful.

Harry was breathing hard. He pushed his hands between their bodies, fumbling for the buttons at Severus' waist. "Okay?"

Severus's snort turned into a moan of protest when Harry stood up – but he did his best to lift his bum when Harry tugged at his trousers, pulling them from under him. It hurt, but not so badly that Severus wanted to stop. Particularly not when Harry knelt down in front of him, wrapped one hand around each of Severus' hip bones, and took the head of Severus' cock in his mouth.

It was amazing, Severus thought, how something so basic could feel so gloriously debauched. Here he was in his office, trousers round his ankles, while a fully dressed student sucked on his most intimate of regions. He gasped for breath. Harry's mouth was warm and oh so wet, and his tongue was everywhere, licking and tickling until Severus wondered if he could take much more.

And then Harry stopped.

"What?" Severus said, rather testily, when Harry failed to continue – just looked up at him, red faced and open mouthed.

"Er, can I?"

"Can you _what_?"

"This chair reclines back a bit, doesn't it?" Harry asked, biting his lip. He leaned forward and fiddled with something. Severus found himself tilted backwards. It wasn't entirely comfortable and he felt like a bit of an idiot – like something on display.

"I, er," Harry said. He ran a hand through his hair, and it stood up in wild spikes. "Iwanttofeelyouinsideme," he said. Then he blushed – very, very red.

"Pardon?" Severus said.

"I'm not saying it again," Harry said, rather defiantly. "Well, can I?"

Severus tried to make himself think – he was an intelligent, educated man, so there was no reason why he couldn't _make_ himself use his brain – but he appeared to have lost all his mental faculties. He nodded and watched, almost as if in a daze, as Harry slid off his clothes and crawled awkwardly on top of him, fishing something out of a pocket as he did so.

It was not ideal, Severus thought, as he grabbed the small jar in Harry's hand, and half-forced Harry's head down to meet his own. Their noses collided almost painfully and Harry moaned, open mouthed, against Severus. No, it wasn't ideal. Severus' back hurt and his legs hurt, and it was cramped on the chair, and his arm around Harry's back was at an awkward angle.

It was worth it though, he knew, when he pressed an oiled finger against Harry's opening and Harry made a noise that Severus decided he was going to keep in his pensieve forever. The angle was wrong so he couldn't get his finger in far, but Harry seemed to enjoy it anyway – his breathing heavy and his tongue working against Severus' own. Then he pulled away, his eyes bright, and reached for the jar of oil himself, slicking up his fingers and reaching behind himself.

Severus nearly died. Harry didn't move to kiss him – just stared at him, his lips red and swollen, his eyes wide – as he pressed his own fingers inside himself. Severus stared back, wondering what he'd done to deserve such a magnificent gift. It occurred to him, a little too late he suspected, that there was a chance he was taking Harry's virginity. He couldn't have stopped now even if he wanted to, though, as Harry leaned forward against him, greased fingers slick around Severus' cock, pressing the head against tight, tight flesh.

Harry grunted and winced, and Severus held very still, afraid of causing him pain. Then Harry rocked his hips, taking Severus deeper, and Severus found himself holding onto Harry so hard that he must be hurting him. Harry didn't complain though, just kept moving, until he was entirely seated on Severus' cock. Then he stilled.

"Is everything… all right, Harry?" Severus asked, trying to loosen his grip on the boy on top of him, and trying to think of various unpleasant things so as not to embarrass himself completely.

Harry laughed, rather shakily, and licked his lips. "It feels good. I just need to – catch my breath."

Severus ran a hand down the length of Harry's back. Harry shivered and moved against him. Severus gasped. It had been too long since he'd done this – far, far too long. It was overwhelming, how good it felt – how much he wanted Harry.

"I like it when your face relaxes," Harry said, almost matter of fact. He moved, and Severus felt his own lips part, his eyes nearly rolling back in his head. He tried to pull himself together, but Harry moved again, sliding his body up – and then down, encasing Severus' cock in tight heat once more.

Harry's expression was soft and happy. "I like—" he said then broke off, his hands tightening around Severus' shoulders. "Oh," he said, quietly, moving his hips a touch faster. "Mmm."

Severus reached between Harry's legs and, after only a couple of hard strokes, Harry came. He made a delicious noise as he did so and then stilled.

"Sorry," Harry said after a moment, leaning hard against Severus' body, before starting to move again. His legs were trembling. When he kissed Severus on the neck, nuzzling his head up against him, Severus came very quietly, his whole body warm and tingling.

 

*****

 

Harry sat curled up on the sofa, mug of tea in hand, as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened the evening before. Severus attempted to read the potions journal in his hand, but he couldn't concentrate – even though he was sure that, if he could just try a little harder, he'd find it of interest.

Apparently they weren't going to talk about it. Well, Severus was fine with that. He hadn't asked for the experience – and he wouldn't ask for it again. He had some pride. Evidently Harry had thought he was doing him some service, and Severus shuddered to think that it had been out of pity. Though, he had to admit, he couldn't see what _else_ could be the reason behind the startling events of the night before.

"Severus—" Harry said, then stopped. He smiled, rather awkwardly, running a hand through his hair.

"Professor Snape," Severus said. "Or Headmaster, if you prefer."

Harry snorted. "Even after last night?"

Severus tried not to blush. Evidently they _were_ talking about it. He wasn't sure what was worse – talking about it, or ignoring it. Now that Harry had brought it up, he thought, on reflection, that talking about it was by far the more unpleasant option.

"Don't you want to do it again?" Harry asked.

Severus stared at him, his potions journal falling from his hand. Harry looked – _hopeful_, of all things.

"Somewhere more comfortable," Harry continued, looking determinedly at Severus, "because my back killed and I bet you couldn't have been too cosy in that chair, but—"

"You – want to…"

"Uh-huh," Harry said.

"Why?"

Harry made a face. "I told you before. I like you."

"I ask again – why?" He wondered what sort of expression was on his face – bewilderment, he expected. Or else a kind of gormless look, like a stuffed fish.

"I just do," Harry said, frowning at him. "Does there have to be a reason?"

"Have you ingested some kind of love potion?" Severus asked. "Did you hit your head on something?"

Harry rolled his eyes. "Hermione said that you'd—"

Severus shuddered. "Please, don't mention Miss Granger at a time like this."

Harry grinned. "Sorry." Then he looked down. Severus noticed how long and black his lashes were. "Look, I don't know why I feel the way I do. I just do. It… just happened." He looked back up. "Is that so bad?"

Severus snorted. "Do I have a choice in the matter?"

Harry took a sip of tea and shrugged. "Don't you want me?" He said it very casually, but his cheeks coloured. He seemed both the same naïve, ridiculously innocent boy that he'd always been – and yet completely different.

"Perhaps," Severus said, unwilling to commit himself. Then he shook his head. "Of course, you wretched boy."

Harry grinned down towards his mug. "Did you do your exercises today?"

"What?" Severus said. "Need I tell you again that you are not my mother, Potter, nor my—"

"If you haven't, I'll help you out," Harry said. He waggled his eyebrows and his grin widened.

Severus stared at him. Was that _sexual innuendo_ that Harry was attempting?

Harry looked up at him, all tousled hair and wide-eyed semi-innocence, and Severus knew that he was lost.

"Or we could spend the evening in polite conversation," Harry said. "I know a fantastic joke about a monkey and an explosion."

Severus, very carefully, got up. It was hard work, and his legs nearly gave out from under him, but he managed it. "Help me to the bedroom, Potter," he said, as sternly as he knew how.

Harry smiled – a wide, fantastic, ridiculous smile. "Of course, Headmaster." Then his smile softened as he stepped towards him, slotting his arm around Severus' side. "Severus."

No, Severus, thought, not lost.

Found.


End file.
